Building the Capacity for Color: Navigating Race/ism Conversations with Children

Pursuing Extraordinary Outcomes in Public Education National Conference

UNC Charlotte Center City

October 30, 2017

Presenters: Lucretia Carter Berry, Brownicity.com, Tehia Starker Glass, UNC Charlotte

This presentation represents a university and community partnership of assisting parents to discuss race with their children.


/broun’ isədē/

  • Brown represents melanin. Ethnicity means “that which we have in common.”
  • We are all hues of brown.
  • We are family-focused and dedicated to advocacy, education, and support for racial healing and antiracism.

 

The Capacity for Color

Telling children, “ we don’t see color,” or “everyone is the same,” does not help them understand that race should not matter. In fact, it leaves them vulnerable to racial socialization. Researchers have found that to be effective, conversations with children about race have to be explicit and in terms that children understand. And when incorporated into family life and their school curriculum, informed and healthy conversations become normal.

  • 6m. Notice differences
  • 2.5 – 3y. Group based on differences (race, gender)
  • 3y. Black children choose White
  • 5y. Children see race as a major point of difference or distinction, even when it is not discussed
  • 7y. Children can accurately reflect social status bias and will make choices or judgments based on who they perceive as having more power or privilege
  • White children as young as 7y demonstrate that they believe Blacks experience less pain than Whites.
  • Even when kids are told that people are all the same, White kids continue to demonstrate stronger racial biases than children of other groups. (Schutts & Olsen, 2011)

We live in a hyper-racialized society where proficiency is needed. We need to normalize healthy and informed conversations about skin tone and race.


To Do:

Talk openly and explicitly. If you don’t teach them, someone else will! Talking empowers them. Not talking leads to complicit racism.

  • Narrow the white conversation gap
  • Have explicit conversation about race to improves racial attitudes across groups
  • Give context – teach about the country’s history of bias and discrimination
  • Diversify your life and library. Even slightly more exposure to other racial/ethnic groups, even through children’s books, helps to counteract bias and discrimination
    • rich diversity of our world.
    • feature positive representation and also cover themes of social justice.
    • authors are people of color
    • main protagonist is a person of color


Books & media to help foster informed & healthy conversation

For Parents, Care-givers & Teachers

 

 

Younger Children

 

High School & Adults

 

 

Helpful resources and publications are posted on our facebook page daily.  LIKE and FOLLOW to stay engaged.

Normalizing Informed & Healthy Conversations About Race

Normalizing Informed & Healthy Conversations About Race

Although this post was created for a school’s parents event, any and everyone is welcome to engage and share this content.


At this month’s Parent Advisory, Lucretia will lead us in an important discussion. Telling children, “ we don’t see color,” or “everyone is the same,” does not help them understand that race should not matter. In fact, it leaves them vulnerable to racial socialization. Researchers have found that to be effective, conversations with children about race have to be explicit and in terms that children understand. And when incorporated into family life and their school curriculum, informed and healthy conversations become normal. We will:

  • talk about navigating skin tone and race conversations with children
  • share books and resources
  • share some examples of dialogue

Keep reading →

The Global Mom Show Podcast: Talking to Your Kids About Race with Lucretia Berry

For our family, it seems ridiculous to pretend that we don’t see differences in our skin tone. In fact, we celebrate the diversity of our beautiful hues that make up the tapestry of our and the ‘hue-man’ family. Also, it seems odd that we would not talk about race with our young children, considering that we live in a society obsessed with ‘racial’ distinctions–even to the extent of pretending not to see them. Our conscientious approach to raising informed, instead of ‘colorblind,’ children evolved into Brownicity: The Art and Beauty of Living and Loving Beyond Race.

On The Global Mom Show, I had the opportunity to share more on the heart and story behind Brownicity and the creation of the series and book, What LIES Between Us Journal & Guide: Fostering First Steps Toward Racial Healing. To get updates about when this series and others are offered, subscribe to our mailing list (website of fb page).

Listen. Read. Share.  

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National Nanny Training Day Conference: When children have questions about skin tone, how will you respond?

presented by Lucretia Berry.

National Nanny Training Day
National Nanny Training Day Conference

‘Why is your skin a different color than mine?’

‘My skin is not white/black, why is it called white/black?’

What are some of the skin tone or race related questions that you’ve been asked by a child? One summer I was collecting data in an Appalachian preschool where everyone was white. A sweet little boy walked up to me and asked me why my legs were brown. I could sense that his question made the adults uncomfortable, but I thought that he and his question were adorable. How would you have answered his question?

Addressing the toddler was easy. It was the discomfort of the adults that caught me off guard. Why were the adults uncomfortable with his question? Because they were more than likely taught to be colorblind. Colorblindness is the notion that If we say we don’t see skin color or talk about it, racism will go away and that the person who mentions skin tone or race is racist. I guess colorblindness sounds good in theory, but not only did it make us an empty promise, it left us void of the language and ability to have seemingly simple conversations with children.

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You shouldn’t avoid talking with children about skin tone and race. Research shows that because children are developmentally prone to in-group favoritism, shunning conversations about race and skin tone will not produce the desired ‘everyone is equal’ mindset.

Having conversations about skin tone void of shame and discomfort in their early years empowers children with the right language and foundation for engaging in more complex conversations about race when the opportunity presents itself.

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Here are some ways to talk with children about skin tone and race. When children talk about skin being brown, peach, pink, etc., they are simply noticing the obvious. The observation of skin tone is not inherently connected to the social, political construct of race. So, when children have questions about skin tone, we don’t need to launch into a civil rights speech right away.

Here is how it plays out in our home. Our family is multi-ethnic—white dad, black mom, and three little girls, currently ranging in ages from four to eight. Because the race concept is complex and confusing (for adults to understand, let alone children) we gave ourselves a language and narrative to acknowledge our five different skin tones (and five different hair textures) without using race terminology like ‘white’ and ‘black.’  Starting from when our oldest was a preschooler, here’s a little of what we do.

  1. We talk about ‘melanin’. Melanin is why our skin tones are different ‘hues of brown.’ Mommy has more or darker melanin. Daddy has lighter or less. We use fun descriptors for our skin tone like ‘sugar cookie, caramel, peanut butter, chocolate.’ We make up songs about our different skin tones and we celebrate them!  (SIDE BAR: We talk about our hair in terms of various degrees, ranging from dad’s super straight hair to mommy’s infinitely kinky curly hair. There is no ‘white hair, black hair or ethnic hair.)
  2. We talk about geography and ancestry. Our children’s ancestors who lived closer to the equator have darker melanin and their ancestors who lived further away from the equator have lighter melanin. Having ancestors from Italy, Germany and Africa has contributed to our beautiful ‘hues of brown.’ 
  3. We talk about the history of race/ism. Around seven years of age, our oldest daughter understood the concept of race. We explained that around 400 years ago, someone divided people by skin color in order to give white people advantages by taking away opportunities for people of color. She read non-fiction children’s books, like Who Was Abraham Lincoln, Meet Addy: An American Girl, Who Was Martin Luther King, Jr., and learned of the atrocities and consequences of racism. As you can imagine, racism upsets children (as it should), so we also talk a lot about hope for the future. If we are educated about race/ism and passionate about change, we can create a better world!     

In children, we have the opportunity to cultivate a future overflowing with love, justice, peace, unity and fun. Telling the truth about skin tone and race/ism will only equip and empower them to help get us there. 

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Related Resources

Your Children See Color—and It’s Beautiful! Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Talk About It. Online: For Every Mom. Lucretia Berry (2016)

Why White Parents Don’t Talk About Race: Does teaching children about race and skin color make them better off or worse? Nurture Shock: New Thinking About Children. Bronson & Merryman. (2009) Here is a summary.

I’m Not Racist…Am I? review & reflections

by Lucretia Carter Berry

I’m Not Racist!…Am I? is a feature documentary about how this next generation is going to confront racism. The film’s unique focus on kids and family immediately grabbed our attention. So a few of us Brownicity moms moved heaven and earth to attend the screening at Trinity Episcopal School in Charlotte, NC.

With film maker, Andre Robert Lett
With film maker, Andre Robert Lee

Through the documentary, we followed twelve New York City teens on a year long journey getting to the heart of racism. We watched as these kids were challenged within themselves, their friendships and families. We watched as they had conversations that most adults are too afraid to have. We watched as these remarkable young people navigated through naiveté, guilt and a few tears to develop deeper bonds, a stronger resolve and a truer definition of racism.

Their collective navigation was made both complicated and beautiful by the mosaic of their individual stories. After the film, we moms talked about with whom of the twelve we most identified.

Personally, as a black woman, I could identify with Kahleek, who through involvement in the project, was relieved and excited to gain a framework and language for articulating how institutional and structural racism had played out in his life.

But as a mom, I was most impacted by Abby, who is multiethnic (bi-racial) like my children. Unlike our family, Abby’s parents had not talked about race with her. As Abby is empowered by her involvement in the project, we watch her have a weighty and convicting conversation with her father, telling him, “If we would have talked about it as a family, I would have been more comfortable.” Can you say ‘Brownicity Soap Box Moment?’

It is empowering to see and understand the forces in your life that work independently of your own abilities, talents, and will. It is even more empowering to be given the permission to deconstruct and dismantle these forces. Brownicity exists to help families do this.

Watching these kids take this journey will inspire adults to do the same. See the website for how to access I’m Not Racist!…Am I? This film is an invaluable tool for families and communities.

The film is part of a larger initiative – Deconstructing Race – developed by The Calhoun School to create a multimedia platform to get young people, their teachers and their families talking – and doing something – about structural systemic racism. (http://notracistmovie.com/)